On the Record

“Old octopuses become what we call senescent, or senile... and sometimes their actions are very inappropriate.”

Jim Cosgrove of the Royal British Columbia Museum speculates about why an octopus recently attacked a small research submarine.

“Please note that from now on, Orion's Belt will be replaced by Chantelle's Thong.”

Columnist Lucy Mangan derides the decision to replace London Planetarium programmes with a show about celebrities.

“You cannot ethically... infect humans and see if they get fat.”

Leah Whigham of the University of Wisconsin, Madison, explains why she infected chickens, not people, with a virus linked to obesity.

Sources: CBC, The Guardian, The Telegraph

Scorecard

Moon mining

Russia's state-owned space company says that the nation plans to establish a Moon base and mine lunar helium-3 as a fuel for fusion reactors.

Placebos

Sham acupuncture works better than a cornstarch pill at easing arm pain, says a comparison published in the BMJ.

Telegrams

After 150 years, Western Union has sent its last telegram. The company, which also does money orders, says it will now focus on “financial services”.

Overhyped

Bird flu in Austria

Panic spread throughout Vienna last week after citizens reported some 40 dead songbirds. Autopsies showed that the H5N1 flu virus was not to blame. The larks, it seems, had developed an appetite for fermented berries, and got so drunk that they flew into windows.