Sir, I write to convey my utter dismay at the quite frankly abhorrent working conditions we elves are subjected to in the North Pole; conditions I believe you may also experience in the dental profession on occasion.

On arrival at the Central North Pole workshop, I was greeted by the sight of 400-500 small men and women crushed into a space that isn't big enough to perform a scale and polish in. They were all expected to work in a monotonous yet happy manner, which deeply disturbed me. Expectations are set incredibly high – they are expected to make 1,000 Jack-in-the-boxes in a day – yet there is no fee per toy made system here, so I'm struggling to work out how these people are making a living. There are rumours that a secondary workshop down the road is paying twice as much for the same work, so if things do not improve I shall be forced to seek alternate employment.

The workforce is mostly made up of associate elves struggling to make a living. A number of my friends work in multiple locations throughout the year and don't have the same employment rights as the staff elves. Many more are twiddling their elvish thumbs as they refuse to work under such lamentable conditions. This is fundamentally wrong.

Credit: Composite. ©lumpynoodles/DigitalVision Vectors/Getty

What dismays me the most is that the boss – a rather large chap with what I can only describe as an 'off white' beard – expects the younger members of staff to work seven days a week due to 'high demand'. I have spoken with the local trade representative who informs me these workers did not have a choice in the matter. I find the notion of working under the imposed conditions rather distasteful.

I hope by bringing this matter to the attention of your profession and others more workers will feel supported to come forward and register their displeasure at these working conditions.

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