I guess it was time for some of my illusions to be shattered. I've had seven months of post-PhD life, in which I got the job I'd applied for, started fieldwork on a strange new species and continued the life of a happy researcher. While living in Ethiopia, I am exactly what I picture myself to be: a confident, intelligent, problem-solving field biologist. In America, however, a big surprise hit me — I am terrible at mingling with other academics.

I was completely unprepared for the vast difference between dealing with strangers in Ethiopia and strangers in academia. Frightening though the cultural and language gap may be, in Ethiopia any positive action or word on my part meets with approval. Mistakes are happily overlooked. A completely different fear grips me when I meet new people in academia. I'm expected to know the people I'm meeting, know what I'm talking about and know how my research intersects with that of the stranger in front of me. Or so it feels. I become completely flustered and feel far removed from the professional, successful scientist I want to be.

I am realizing that fieldwork is not preparing me for interacting with my scientific peers. That scares me a little. As I head back to the field, I wish I could have brought a self-help manual back to Ethiopia — something that could advise me on survival in the scientific rat race, without a single gelada to hide behind.